Hello again, and I hope you’re very well this August. I’m back from the first vacation I’ve had in a long while, and am feeling very tender and grateful for the little beautiful things in life.
Friends, sunshine, painting, music and a clear heart.
During my time off, I gave some thought to what I’d like to create in this community - what I think we can do together, and how to explore that. The last time I wrote, I asked for votes on what would be most supportive, and the answers were very clear - the majority of you would appreciate an online coaching/teaching group.
While this makes a lot of sense to me, I have hesitated to do this again for a couple of reasons:
- A group like this is not a substitute for therapy - this is both good and bad, you can be in therapy AND in a teaching group with me. That is a really effective combination actually. But sometimes people get them mixed up and I don’t like to cause confusion.
- Sometimes, finances get in the way - you’re doing a lot of things, and it can be hard to justify paying for an online coaching/teaching group. I get it. And, because I don’t have a corporate job, and I’m my family’s primary breadwinner, I do have to run these groups for pay of some kind. So there’s that.
- And the final reason I hesitate is because the scheduling can be hard. We are a very global group with people on many continents, which I love. But it can be challenging to find a good day and time that works for most people. Last time I offered a group, scheduling prevented one of the groups from going ahead.
I share these hesitations with you because I want to be transparent
And if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep up that transparency. We’re in all this together, right?
From the beginning of writing this blog, I’ve wanted only to share what I know from my own experience, because I saw a lack of real people telling the real stories of changing emotionally-abusive behaviour. Because I’ve been a coach for 20 years, I also feel able to take that a bit farther and help people make those changes. Sharing my hesitations with you is my way of inviting you to be part of the solution - to co-create support that works for you.
What I’ve decided is to go ahead and open a coaching group in September
I’ve been working with individuals to stop being emotionally-abusive for more than two years now. I know what the journey to stop abusing looks like - the potholes, and the small wins leading to lifelong change. It’s beautiful. And, a big part of the success has to do with:
- Being held accountable for your emotional state on a daily basis
Daily is important, this isn’t something you think about once a week or month, that doesn’t work.
- Having (as many) people (as possible) in your life who you’re super honest with about how things are going
There’s no such thing as stopping this behaviour alone - community is a necessary ingredient like salt in a meal. It just doesn’t work otherwise, truly.
- Taking a wholistic approach - not just a brain-based or cognitive approach.
This work is about ALL of you becoming kinder, more present, more whole. So it makes sense that it takes healing of mind, body, spirit and soul to get there. When a person has tools and a plan for each of these areas, things start to move more quickly.
The group I am planning for September will cover these things. But right now, I have just a simple question. Would you be willing to help?
What are the best days and times for you to join a coaching/teaching group like this?
I will send out more information soon, but for now, my vision is that this group will meet:
3X each month on the same day and time of the week, for 60-90 minutes.
Calls will include teaching, coaching, group support, time for Q&A.
A big part of the group will include accountability to help you start building your ‘days of not being emotionally-abusive’ track record, with help. So there will be support between calls.
Of course, this will be a confidential group with me facilitating each piece.
If these details are at least initially interesting to you, would you take a moment to vote at this Doodle poll by placing a checkmark beside the times you would be able to attend a call 3X a week, or close to?
Voting does not equal a commitment to the group, since you don’t have enough details to decide that for sure yet. But voting will tell me the days and times that would be most supportive for you, for the call times, if you decide to join.
https://doodle.com/meeting/participate/id/boYElXBe
Thanks so much for your help to design this in a way that works well for as many of us as possible. It’s time for me to be braver, bolder, and more vocal about this support. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.
Blessings,
Andrea
will you make something like this again? i just found your blog and i feel like i need something like this.
Thank you for this.